"Confiança" : um truque da mente

"The point is, what you mean is not what you are. What you mean to communicate about yourself is not the point: it is actually what you communicate that is the important fact. The woman who sent the nasty emails was being a horrendous bitch because she expressed herself like one. End of story, regardless of whether or not she thinks that's 'really her'. People never think that's 'really them'. The word 'bitch', for example, refers to how you communicate and deal with people, not some truth about your soul. Left on your own on a desert island, you can't be a bitch; it takes communication with other people for that word to mean anything. (...)

The reality of the situation is that while it's important to have some sense of distinction between an 'image' we project socially and how we behave away from company or with closer friends, no one aspect of us is any more real than any other. We're multi-faceted glittering disco balls, bouncing light in all directions, and life is a great big bloody disco. Or something. (...)

Essentially, what this comes down to is the importance of social skills. Making a point of being flattering or charming to people isn't being insincere. Perhaps it is if you are being asked for your honest opinion wich is, in fact, far from positive, but even then there are ways of giving feedback which are effective and encouraging. A lack of these important social skills is normally a symptom of lack of confidence, which leads us to the goods news. Confidence can be faked. It's not real.
I don't think (and certainly it's helpful to not think) that 'confidence' really exists any more than 'motivation' really exists. If you feel you're under-motivated, consider this: the word is used only by people who say they don't have it. People who are 'motivated' rarely use such a term to describe themselves. They just get on with the task at hand. 'Lack of motivation' is an excuse: it's giving a name to not just getting the job done. Forget motivation; just get used to doing things straight away. With confidence, the situation is similar. Firstly, you must realise that confidence doesn't exist as an objective fact. A person in isolation isn't inherently confident or unconfident; we become those things only when we start interacting. Equally, there is no difference worth speaking of between a person who is 'really' confident in a situation and a person who is just behaving so. So we can usefully see confidence as just behaviours and tricks that make us appear in a certain way. Why might we want to appear as confident people? Because in the right measure, it's an enormously attractive quality. And it can make us feel very good. To much, of course, or too little can be exhausting. The moment someone naturally makes a good impression socially, it's an enormous relief for everyone he or she meets. When you are introduced to someone, don't you immediately decide how much you like them? How enjoyable they are to talk to? If they seem charming and engaging, it's a pleasant relief. It's not insincere, or superficial, it just makes them pleasant to be around."

Derren Brown no livro "Tricks of The Mind"